Wow! Change can be scary.
Lost. Lost very well describes a BIG feeling in my life, as of late. I am using the word late very loosely. I have been feeling a bit lost for about three years. At the beginning of 2020, we all had big plans for the year. Life was crazy disrupted by corona virus and we all suddenly had to learn to cope in a super minimized environment. Traveling was a no-no, clubs and bars were Petri dishes, and my anxiety was through the roof. I rang in 2021 learning that my baby, Ryleigh, had cancer. Cancer in dogs isn't super curable, it's a life sentence in which you strive for comfort and happy lasting memories. I don't think that loss will ever truly heal. I spent half the year taking her to chemo appointments and hoping for the best. The latter half of the year was full of tears and longing for her constant snuggles. This part of my grief still remains, but the breakdowns are fewer and farther between. 2022 has flown by. I have a job the I truly enjoy, and travel has once again become a regular distraction, whether it be my own or that of the guests I help at work. I am just NOW starting to get lost on purpose. 2023 is just around the corner, and my new plans and goals definitely hold the most power of any I have ever made.
Roger and I are truly planning to get lost, lose ourselves, and evolve like beautiful butterflies.
The remaining few weeks of 2022 mark a shedding process, as we try to get rid of our belongings. Our home in Atlanta and its contents, our cars, and our way of life are all being thrown out the window (or into your possession, if you so please). Our house will be listed in early January, as we make the first permanent step in our journey. Willingly letting go of everything familiar and falling into the abyss of unknown is our new normal. But damn, it is scary, and that is okay! Isn't there some kitschy quote about growth being found outside your comfort zone? That's where we live, now.
I feel like I'm rambling, but it helps to get all the thoughts out. This whole website started with my desire to feel like a legit artist, and it has since evolved into a forgotten corner of the internet. I hope to bring new life to my domain as my life changes, too. Art is no longer a daily act, but it is a daily appreciation. And I am learning that you do not have to do something everyday in order for it to be a part of who you are. I can be an artist, whilst art is more of a hobby than a job. Finding joy in art is more important to me, as this journey continues. In fact, rediscovering that joy is a huge reason that I want to take this leap.
The journey or SUPER TRIP, if you will, officially begins on March 1st, as we board an airplane with one way tickets to Europe. I am a planner, and we do have loose plans for our locations and a dream list of what we want to see and experience up until the end of November, but learning to let go and be flexible is a lesson I hope to learn through this experience.
The blogging portion of this site began in the summer of 2019, as I embarked upon a journey to Spain. It was the last leg of my college experience, and it truly evolved my life. I hope to be a better blogger, if even just for myself and my mother, this time around than I was back then. The posts ended after about a week of being abroad. When I went to Oxford in 2010, I was required to keep a sketch book for my drawing class. I still have that sketch book and look back on my entries, fondly. We have started a YouTube channel, and I know that will likely be where most people catch up on our adventures. You can find our new channel @desiredreality on YouTube. Yet, I hope for this blog to be more like my sketch book. It may sometimes be more random drawings or photos than explanations, I'm not sure, yet. I do, however, know that I enjoy this process, and I am appreciative of the opportunity to get lost.
Change is scary, but it is not always bad.
If you are reading this, thank you. Thank you for caring enough to get through the rambling, and thank you for caring enough to get here in the first place. If videos are more your thing, the link is below. If you're more into watching me play chutes and ladders in my head, feel free to subscribe to my thoughts, here. Just thanks for existing.