Present thankfulness coincides with fear of the future and disappointment of the past
This year... wow!
We have all been put through the ringer. There is zero shame when I admit that this was a tough one, y'all.
I had BIG plans.
For my last year in my 20's and my first year post college graduation, there was tons of traveling on my calendar, several art shows, and overall a sense of adventurous excitement going into the new decade with so many possibilities. Nothing went as planned. NOT A THING.
C'est la vie, am I right?
Here we are, in the month of November. The year is almost over, and traditionally we would all be super thankful and cozy, filled to the brim with turkey, and getting into the holiday spirit with our loved ones. In cheesy American culture, the masses would flood to social media to post something the are thankful for every day of this month. I haven't seen a single person doing daily thanks this year, not to say no one is- but I haven't seen it.
So, here I am. Sitting in my robe, drinking coffee, with the cutest puppy curled up in my lap- I am thankful.
Despite a horrible mental health decline, personal health issues with stupid amount of doctors visits, being secluded away from family and friends (cause covid), several cancelled trips, all the cancelled art events, and the quarantine weight gain, I am still thankful. I have a roof over my head, a loving husband, goals to work towards, accessible health care, food on my table, and a support system. This year has forever changed us all. It has pushed me to find new hobbies, set a new career goal, be at peace with being alone, find joy in the tiny moments, and be ever more appreciative for human kindness and interaction.
Y'all, I would get a total high just from speaking to ONE person, for like 10 minutes. That's all it took to turn my day around. I am a total people person, and that hasn't changed. My perspective has changed. I don't need to go out into a crowded room and talk to everyone. What we do need is genuine human connection. I am super thankful for the people in my life. I am shit at reaching out. I beat myself up and have imposter syndrome, but that's dumb. I will overthink a possible conversation until I scare myself out of having it, at all, and that is even worse. We are all struggling.
Reach out, have the conversation, tell your friends you love them! We may not be able to all hang out like we used to, but I am thankful. This year has forced me to rethink my values and priorities. It has brought out the ugliest in people, but it also has shown us how beautiful human connection is and how powerful we all are when we work together. 💙
2020 was a bitch, but we're almost through it. There won't be a big blow out party with sparkly dresses and midnight kisses this year, but that excitement for new possibilities, a fresh start, and growth should be at an all time high at the end of this year. I am thankful to be here, to have the opportunity to dream of the future, and I am even thankful for the fear. It means that I have options.
I am thankful for my health.
I am thankful for masks.
I am thankful for loved ones.
I am thankful for kind strangers.
I am thankful for diversity.
I am thankful for art and music.
I am thankful for comfy cozy clothes.
I am thankful for my puppy.
I am thankful for good wine.
I am thankful for yummy foods.
I am thankful for my memories.
I am thankful for you!
What are you thankful for?
Through all of the crazy, despite all the breakdowns, and embracing all of the fear- we don't know what the future holds. We cannot take the present for granted.